Selective Mutism and Trichotillomania

 Selective Mutism and Trichotillomania....two words I had never heard of but man, have they rocked our world.

Selective Mutism should really be called Situational Mutism, as selective makes it seem like a child is being selective and choosing when and when not to talk. Situational means it really depends on the people, place and surroundings.

S.M (Selective Mutism) is an anxiety disorder that renders a person unable to speak.

For Elliana, the signs were always there. She'd talk freely to mom, dad, siblings and grandma. Everybody and every where else, she would not speak. We always thought she was just shy. In 4k, same thing. Hardly said a word to a soul, even children. Picture days were hell in a handbasket for her. Again, just thought she was shy and she'd come out of it.

Kindergarten...that was difficult. She wouldn't speak at all but would communicate with head nods and point to pictures. Thought the changes with covid and having to wear a mask were part of it.

Half way through 1st grade, her teacher and principal called a special meeting. We didn't know but the support team at school had been talking and had concerns about her. So after that special meeting, we made an appointment with her doctor. February of 2022 we heard the words Selective Mutism for the first time. After that appointment, I took her back to school, and sat in the principal's office and cried. My daughter had an answer but I was given no directions on what to do. But God! He put so many amazing people in place at school that knew what to do and got her going on the exact path they needed. Her teacher was our God send! She bent over backwards to form an even deeper connection with Elliana than they already had. The team at school, Mrs.Bates, Mr.Liebl, Mrs.Bader, and the school counselor at the time, Zoey, made an amazing plan for her. They let her eat lunch in the room with a friend and teacher when she wanted. She got to do indoor recesses in the room or in the calm down room as needed. Mrs.Bader would keep her in when the other kids were out so Ellie would feel comfortable testing at her verbal level she was comfortable with. She got Ellie to whisper answers in her ear and by the end, quietly answering to the class. I was amazed and so thankful for her.

Then we hit 2nd grade and we reverted. She went back to only speaking to friends when an adult wasn't watching. We entered speech therapy that winter with Ms.Emily at Rehab Resources. Ellie never got quite back on the same path as she was in first grade but she would whisper talk to Ms.Antil at the end of 2nd grade.

April of 2023 is also when I got a message from Ms.Antil "hey I was standing over Ellie and noticed she had a bald spot." And it only got worse from there. She started eating it to hide her pulling since we talked about Ms.Antil finding piles of hair on the floor. I had to get honest with Ellie and showed her what would happen if she continued to eat her hair. She was still pulling. We had to go to the doctor and got diagnosed with Trichotillomania...hair pulling disorder. 

In the matter of a month, she had pulled out every hair on her crown from ear to ear, down to the scalp. It was bad! I cried (and still cry) so many tears.

Here we are a year later. 

Ellie worked her tail end off in speech therapy and at school. She had Mrs.Sether who is just an angel on this earth! Ellie shows little to no signs of her Selective Mutism now! She graduated speech therapy this winter! 

We still deal with hair pulling, but its not as severe as it was. We are also on medication and go to therapy a couple times a month. 

Her hair pulling increases in times of stress and change. So, with school ending and her therapist leaving, thus getting a new one, her pulling has gotten bad (though not as bad as last year.)

All this is just a speck of what we've been through the past 2 years with our sweet girl. It's so incredibly heart shattering seeing your baby struggle and not knowing how to make it better. I'm thankful for the amazing support systems we have in school and outside of school! I'm thankful for her friends that see past her funky hair. I'm thankful to my friends and family that allow me to vent without judgement and cry when I need to. We wouldn't be this far without each of them!