Our Journey towards Parenting!

A few months ago, I posted about a little girl that was up for adoption in michigan. We couldn't adopt her, but kept her in our prayers. Alexis had her first birthday in november, and is now learning to sit up on her own! I'm also happy to report, that Alexis's foster family, will soon become her adopted family! I know God has great plans for that little girl so please continue to keep her in your prayers as well. I will be posting my take on yesterday soon!

So, we had our first meeting yesterday with Heather, our case worker. She seemed really nice. When she walked out to greet us, she had a huge binder, papers everywhere and I immediately went to being overwhelmed. She handed us the binder and went through what was in it. Its ours to keep and we take it with us to our education classes. The first hour was spent going over papers..what we had turned in, what we needed, etc. She was impressed because we had everything turned in already (she said nobody ever has everything turned in at the first meeting) so Matt and I were pretty happy about that! We also signed a few more papers and got even more papers to fill out...I think we've killed about 100 trees with all the papers we've gotten already. The second and third hour was spent talking about us...how we met, what made us fall in love with each other, how did our families react,etc. I thought it was going well until she asked us why we were going through adoption. We explained tha...

So we met with Heather, our caseworker, for the first time today. She seems really nice but it was still kind of stressful. She tried to push us to go to the doctor to find out why, or if we can't have our own children. She said what if it's something simple, but what if it's not? It would be devestating for either of us to find out we were unable to have biological children. Heather told us she had the same issue but the doctors were never able to tell why she wasn't able to have children so I expected her to be more understanding with us not wanting to know. I was talking to my Dad the other night too and he didn't seem to get it either! Argh! Seriously its our decision and only we can be the judge of how hard it would be on us!! Okay sorry. Enough of my rant on that. She also brought up that there is some times some pain for adopting parents that they haven't been able to have their own children. Which we still haven't given up on having our own but it d...

Seems so far away, yet so close. Let the nerves fly now! December 18th is the day that we meet Heather for the first time. Heather is our social worker! I forgot to mention how fast things have been going for us. We turned in our application and it was approved less then a week later and were given the name of our social worker and that she would be contacting us in 3-5 weeks. Well, it took two days for Heather to email us! So far, I've only talked to Heather through email but she seems really nice and I can't wait to meet her face to face. Its so crazy to think that in August we were just thinking about adopting and now 3 months later, we are in the beginning stages of our home study! Wow!! I'm not sure what our first meeting has in store for us, but she did say that it would be at least 2 hours long! Since we live an hour away from Bethany, Matt and I are both taking the day off (its a friday, so three day weekend, woohoo!) We will be pretty busy with more papers between ...

We just got word that our application was approved! Our social worker's name is Heather and we'll be hearing from her in the next 3-5 weeks to set up appointments! It was really nerve racking sending out those papers, there was a fear in the back of my head that kept telling me we wouldn't get approved for one reason or another but I didn't listen to it. Its so amazing to follow in the path that God has for you. This is truly His timing and His desire for us! I feel like running around and jumping for joy!

Continuing on from the post about Alexis, I was ticked. Royally. It wasn't until God, in his gentle way, lead me to a song that got me through many other difficult times in my life. I had actually forgotten about this song until I played it on youtube. The chorus goes as follows... "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way He works in ways, we cannont see he will make a way for me He will be my guide hold me closely to his side with love and strength For each new day, He will make a way" Talk about God telling you it will be okay and that he is working in ways I can't see!

A few weeks ago, one of Matt's friends, emailed him through facebook about her niece, Alexis, whom was in foster care and was up for adoption in Michigan. We prayed, talked about, and prayed some more. It seemed like this is what God wanted. We made plans to upgrade to a bigger apartment, talked to Bethany, and still prayed. We were pretty excited to bring home a baby girl. But God said no, even though we swore he was saying yes. We talked to Bethany, and a couple others, and they said that it was basically impossible for us to adopt her. There were a lot of loops and holes to jump threw. So that was the first door closed. Then we found out that the apartment that we wanted to move into, was way too expensive for us, with both of us working. We wouldn't be able to keep our heads above water if I quit my job. So, there went that door. Then we learned that her current foster parents are getting attached to her, and are going to look into keeping her. Which is best for her. It was...

So we got our application on September 10th! I opened up the envelope and took out a pretty big stack of papers. We started signing and filling out papers...and realized, if there are any skeltons in peoples' closets going through Bethany...they will find them out! There were two stacks of papers. One stack had to be completed by October 9th along with an online portion. Most of this was just "sign here and date this." Pretty boring so I won't go into much detail about that. The second portion is amazingly huge and has to be done before our first appointment with our social worker. This included more sign and date here, but also had questionneers about your childhood, how you were raised, your relationship with your parent(s) both now and in the past, your view on religion, where do you live, whats your apartment/house like, whats your community like, how will the child grow up, what are your views on discipline, etc, etc. One questionner alone was over 50 questions! ...

Sorry we haven't written in forever! We didn't really have anything to write about because we met our first short stand-still. After our meeting, we learned that we were put on a waiting list for the adoption application and that it could take up to two months before we would recieve it. Well Georgia, the head Domestic Infant Adoption person, called me this morning while I was at work and left me a message. We called her back tonight after work and she had to ask us some questions. Basically just basic "red flags" questions- like have you been convicted of a felony, any mental health problems, are you healthy, etc. We passed those questions and she told us that she would be sending us the application very soon!! Yayy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I said in my last post, God was working on my heart with a few things. The first and hardest thing that I had to surrender to him was the idea of being a mom to a new fresh out of the hospital just days old baby. I have always wanted to bring the baby home straight from the hospital. We learned that some people opt to put the baby in a foster home until the termination of rights court date. This usually happens several weeks after the baby is born. Matt shared on the way home, that this is something he would like to do. I know that Matt and I would be devestated if we brought baby home, cared and fell in love with him or her and then have the baby ripped out of our arms if the birth mom changes her mind or dad wants the baby. I really struggled with the idea of not getting the baby until a month or two after it was born. God really was gentle with me and showed me a lot of things through the infants I work with. The day after our meeting, it was really hard to be in there with the y...

So last Thursday we had our informative adoption meeting. It was kinda boring, kinda long, and somewhat pointless but we did learn alot. They sat us all down in this tiny conference room which got really hot, really fast. Then they proceeded to give us a presentation via powerpoint...think back in highschool when you gave reports with powerpoint. Thats what it was like...pretty much they just read us a bunch of info and added a few personal blips here and there. I said it was somewhat pointless, because they could have just mailed us all that stuff, made us read it and then take some sort of test or something to prove we read it. I was dissappointed that they didn't leave time to ask questions. We could have asked them questions afterwards, but there was one person representing international and one person representing domestic...we would have been there all night if we waited to get to talk to the domestic person. After the meeting, I was feeling completly overwhelmed...informatio...

So I've learned quickly that how adoption really works and how I thought it worked are two very different things lol. So I always thought that it was kind of like it is in the movies. The bioligical mother give birth to the baby, the baby is swept away, and all ties are completely severed. Apperantly this is the way it used to be in the old days but now it that is pretty rare. For those of you who are like me and don't know much about the subject I'll explain the three options for today's adoptions: The first is closed adoption, which means all ties are severed, no contact with birth parents after the baby is born like in the movies and old days. The second is semi-open adoption, is this case the adoptive parents have some contact with the birth parents, they send letters about the child and pictures. From what I understand this is the most common type now. The third is open, in this case the birth parents in addition to letters/pictures, they may even come for visits. ...

So, yeah the meeting was very informational but, honestly...kind of pointless at the same time. They gave us this big old packet of info and then pretty much just read every thing to us and did a power point presentation. So other than meeting two staff members it was pointless because we could have just read it ourselves at home, but whatever. Any ways the next step is doing the formal application which sounds like fun (haha not)! We have to fill out all kinds of forms, compile a bunch of records, get medical exams, get back ground checks, all kinds of crazy stuff, not to mention that there is a $550 fee we have to pay just for this step! The good news is they work with a bank out Michigan that gives loans to cover all the fees which will eventually end up being atleast $15,000 by the time we actually get a baby. The other good news is we'll get almost all of that back in tax credits once the adoption is finalized. So we're excited, but also suffering from major information ov...

So tonight was our informative meeting. We had a panic before leaving. I went to check the website for the address and next to the meeting information it said FULL. I didn't realize that we had to register for the meeting! *insert panic attack here* Thanks to my hubby, he called them and explained that we took off work for the meeting and didn't realize we had to register. The lady said that we were in luck and a couple had cancelled, meaning that we could attend! Anyway, the meeting was very informative and gave us a lot to think about. That being said, I know that I'm at least overwhelmed and need to process things before writing about it. I promise an informative update by monday!

So its been awhile since I've (Christel) have updated. Our informative adoption meeting is next thursday the 13th! We are really excited for it but also nervous. Once we find out more info about whats next, I'll update again. The past couple weeks have been like a rollercoaster and I've wanted to update many times but never did. I had a bit of trouble at work last week with somebody acuseing me of something I would never do. I was so heartbroken, and all I could see was our future being slammed down. I haven't heard anymore information on whats going on but I'm not worrying about it. My God is bigger than this. Last week or something, my husband and I were in a store and walked by the baby department. It took all I had to keep back the tears. They were happy tears though! For years, I've gazed at those baby departments, secretly picking out what I would buy or want, and God did a little knock on my heart and showed me that in the very near future, I won't ha...

First I just want to say a huge thank you to all our friends and family for being so supportive and understanding. I guess you tend to think the worst when you aren't sure what to expect but you all have been awesome. It's been really hard the last couple years, every time Christel thought she may be pregnant we'd get excited and hold our breath only to be disappointed. Whether we realized it or not at the time, it has been a test of our faith in God and our marriage, but if any thing it has made our marriage stronger and our faith in God has held firm as well. Still, I have spent a lot of time asking God, why? Not sure I can say I ever really got an awnser yet but He seems to have opened a door with adoption, especially since it's a Christian adoption agency that we will be working with. I'm super excited about adopting and scared at the same time. For a while part of me was afraid that maybe I would have trouble thinking of this baby as my own. Last night as I was...

The main question people will want to know is how did you decide to adopt a child. Well, we've known we wanted children since the day we met. A year after we got married, we started to try for a baby. After many tears, frustration, and months of negative pregnancy tests, we mentioned adoption but never gave it much thought. Another 6 months or so went by and still no baby. Matt and I talked, and decided that if we can't have children ourselves, then why not give an unwanted baby a good loving home. We will not be going to the doctor to have tests. Its not worth getting poked, prodded, and invaded just to end up having our hearts broken. If you really think about it, people spend more money on fertility treatments than an adoption costs, and end up empty handed. We'd rather spend the money and end up with a baby, without going through test after test.

So, this blog is to keep everybody updated on our progress, thoughts, feelings, ups, downs, etc during this road called "Adopting." Most of everybody who reads this, already knows us or at least one of us. I (Christel) will probably be doing most of the updating! I am 24 and am currently an infant teacher at Bright Horizons. I was just moved to the infant room after being in the toddler suite for a year. It was a hard move, but I am loving the babies! Matt is 28(his birthday is on Wednesday, July 29th) and works for shopko Optical. He is currently waiting on a store to be a manager at. I'm sure he'll be a great one when the time comes! We met back when I was in junior highschool in a christian chat room. Over the years, that chat room died off and we still kept in contact via email and eventually through MSN Instant Messenger. In 2004, we started talking more online and started to have feelings for one another. On June 17th, 2004, Matt asked me to be his girlfriend a...