Not really what I expected......but that's not a bad thing--from Matt

So I've learned quickly that how adoption really works and how I thought it worked are two very different things lol. So I always thought that it was kind of like it is in the movies. The bioligical mother give birth to the baby, the baby is swept away, and all ties are completely severed. Apperantly this is the way it used to be in the old days but now it that is pretty rare. For those of you who are like me and don't know much about the subject I'll explain the three options for today's adoptions: The first is closed adoption, which means all ties are severed, no contact with birth parents after the baby is born like in the movies and old days. The second is semi-open adoption, is this case the adoptive parents have some contact with the birth parents, they send letters about the child and pictures. From what I understand this is the most common type now. The third is open, in this case the birth parents in addition to letters/pictures, they may even come for visits.

When I first heard about open and semi-open adoptions I was against the idea. Some how I felt like I wouldn't feel like the child's 'real' parent, like I would just feel like a permanent baby sitter, or something. I just thought it would seem really weird. My perception began to change as I learned more at the informational meeting. They told us that closed adoptions are pretty rare now. Most birth parents now want atleast some contact. Then tonight Christel and I watched "16 and pregnant" a show from MTV. Christel found it on the internet and the episode we watched was about a young couple who decided that their baby would have a better life if they gave her up for adoption. (The crazy thing is they were working with Bethany Christian Services, which is who we are working with but any way).

It was really a difficult decision for them to give up their baby and it was really hard on them both. I felt so bad for them. I can't imagine having to make that decision. That melted my heart and totally changed my opion on the semi-open, or even open adoption option. I could not bring myself to deny the birth parents that. I held back tears just watching that episode so I can't imagine how much harder it will be when its us in that position. Especially if we go to the hospital when the baby is born.

My views have also changed on international adoption. At first I wanted a baby that was caucasion like us that we could raise as our own. I had it in my mind that we wouldn't tell them that they were adopted until they were young adults, but again Bethany changed my mind on this. They told us it is actually better for the child to know they are adopted as soon as they are old enough to understand. This opened the doors to international adoption for me.

We plan to start with domestic adoption atleast for the first one (internation adoption is more expensive and much more complicated...I won't go into the details for now). Then maybe international or we had even talked about adopting a special needs child. My perceptions of what adoption is have been turned upside down and I have opened the doors of my heart and mind to any child needing a loving home. We had always talked about having only three children at the most, but now, who knows! There are so many children out there that need a loving home and we have so much love to give. I'm sooo excited for what God has instore for us in this area.

Sorry this has got redicoulsly long but I needed to put it down. Thanks for reading all this...and if you just skipped to the end....well shame on you!! LOL just kidding. Thank you all very much for all your support.