Baby Alexis

A few weeks ago, one of Matt's friends, emailed him through facebook about her niece, Alexis, whom was in foster care and was up for adoption in Michigan. We prayed, talked about, and prayed some more. It seemed like this is what God wanted. We made plans to upgrade to a bigger apartment, talked to Bethany, and still prayed. We were pretty excited to bring home a baby girl. But God said no, even though we swore he was saying yes.

We talked to Bethany, and a couple others, and they said that it was basically impossible for us to adopt her. There were a lot of loops and holes to jump threw. So that was the first door closed. Then we found out that the apartment that we wanted to move into, was way too expensive for us, with both of us working. We wouldn't be able to keep our heads above water if I quit my job. So, there went that door.

Then we learned that her current foster parents are getting attached to her, and are going to look into keeping her. Which is best for her.

It was a heartbreaking decision to let her be, and I held in most of my emotion about it. I was really pissed off at God about it. I thought that God was finally giving me my baby Alexis, but it didn't happen. I felt like I was losing a child I had never met and only seen through two pictures. It took me a good two weeks to stop being mad. I'm so glad that I have the Father that I do. I got this mental image of me standing in front of Jesus, hitting, yelling, and down right cursing at him because I couldn't have her. But yet, He loves me enough to stand there and take it and then hold out his arms and hold me while I cry.

Comments

  1. Nick, Amber & AaronOctober 4, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    Hi Christel,
    thank you for explaining the situation with Alexis. I saw inklings of it on FB, but didn't know the whole story. I know it will take quite a bit of time for all of your paperwork and things to be approved, so it may be quite a few months before you have a baby in your arms. I know it's hard to hear that - after all the waiting you've already done, but I promise - even though I've never been there - that this will ALL be worth it! I trust in a God that has a purpose for everything and does not waste our time or do things in vain. Thank the Lord for a home for Alexis - that this was what was best for her. Be patient, friends!

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