To my baby boy on the night before his first day of 4k.

My sweet boy,
The time has come. The time has come for me to watch you spread your wings, and fly. It is time for you to start school away from home. My heart...oh my heart...it is so worried, so very excited, and so very anxious for this. I write this, and the tears start to flow. We met your teachers tonight, they both seem very sweet. You were scared. You wouldn't walk into the building. You had to be coaxed and carried in by grandma. You were nervous. You stood by me, half of your body behind me. We put your backpack in your cubby, school supplies in the bin, and we stood. Both of us nervous, but trying not to show it. After a couple minutes, I took you by the hand, and walked you around the classroom. We talked to Ms.Amber a few times. After a half hour, you started to warm up. You played with some blocks, and pretended to blow over a tower. By the end, you didn't want to leave.


And so tonight, I listen to you make cookies with Ellie and Dadda. I listen to your sweet voice as you play. I watch your small fingers, your little body and sit in wonder. Wonder how this year will grow and change you. Wonder at all this year has to hold for you. Tonight, I will pick your little handsome self up in my arms, read you a story, and pray with you and over you. I will pray Joshua 1:9 over you:  

 “ Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Then I will tuck you in bed, with a hug, a kiss, and probably a tickle. I will tell you I love you. Then I will shut off the lights, and close the door. And know that tomorrow starts a brand new chapter for you.

Tomorrow is your first day by yourself. This is a big moment! A huge moment for me. I have to trust your teachers. Trust that they will care for you, hold you when you cry, be patient with you if you have a potty accident or get upset, and help you make friends. Oh how I hope you make many friends quickly. Tomorrow. We will wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed and head off for your first day. Will I be able to stop the tears if you don't want to leave me? Will I be able to stop the tears as I walk up the stairs and leave you? I hope your first day goes so wonderful. I can't wait to hear all about it.
And so as my heart breaks at the thought of letting you go into the school world, know this. I am so incredibly proud of you! I am so excited for you and the things God has in store for you. But most of all, I love you so very much. Letting you out in the world wouldn't hurt so much if my love for you and all that you are wasn't this strong.
I love you so much Jeremiah.
Have an awesome first day of 4k!
Love,
Mom

Comments

  1. MomSeptember 6, 2017 at 9:26 PM

    My tears are flowing as I read this. I have many of the same feelings. I just want to protect him from the world, but I also know that only God can truly do that. Thank you for sharing Christel.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Jeremiah is here!

Image
So I really suck at updating this thing! As the post says, Jeremiah is here! But let me back track a bit! Our pregnancy was really a breeze! We always said that we knew God gave us the pregnancy because of how easy things went. I never had morning sickness, my blood and urine numbers were always great, I only gained 6 pounds, and never had any of the things that they test you for. Last time I updated, we didn't even know that Jeremiah was a boy. I had a gut feeling that he was a boy, but Matt was holding out for a girl. On June 26th, we got to have the gender scan. My favorite thing about pregnancy was getting to have ultrasounds! The tech took her time taking measurements and showing us all the parts...4 chamber heart, hands, feet, head, tummy, etc, etc. Then when I thought she was down by his legs, I said "so, is that a boy?" She asked if we really wanted to know and I immediately said "YES!" So she found the parts, turned the screen and asked what it was
Read more

Meeting--Matt's point of view lol

So, yeah the meeting was very informational but, honestly...kind of pointless at the same time. They gave us this big old packet of info and then pretty much just read every thing to us and did a power point presentation. So other than meeting two staff members it was pointless because we could have just read it ourselves at home, but whatever. Any ways the next step is doing the formal application which sounds like fun (haha not)! We have to fill out all kinds of forms, compile a bunch of records, get medical exams, get back ground checks, all kinds of crazy stuff, not to mention that there is a $550 fee we have to pay just for this step! The good news is they work with a bank out Michigan that gives loans to cover all the fees which will eventually end up being atleast $15,000 by the time we actually get a baby. The other good news is we'll get almost all of that back in tax credits once the adoption is finalized. So we're excited, but also suffering from major information ov
Read more

My First Mother's Day!

Image
How incredibly blessed I am to call this ham my son! He is the light of my life and the reason my heart beats! I love him so much I can't even explain it! The sun could be shining so bright but nothing is more bright than his face when he sees me come in his room in the morning! Sure we have our hard days, and there are days when I feel like I can't do this motherhood thing, but all it takes is one look in his eyes and I know it will be ok. That we will get through this thing called life together. There is nothing stronger than the bond we hold already. I sit here typing in happy tears just thinking of how much he means to me. I almost feel even more blessed knowing our journey to have him. I can't count how many mothers days I didn't want to crawl out of bed. How many church services I would cringe through when people I didn't know would say "happy mothers day" and I'd have to force on a smile when all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and cry. My t
Read more