Our Journey towards Parenting!

Jeremiah celebrated his first christmas! This has always been a dream of mine. To have a young infant during my favorite holidays- Thanksgiving and Christmas- and God has made them come true! We started out by going to church on Christmas Eve- he was Ooo'd and Ahh'd over just like every time we go to church. He slept through the whole service! You know, having a baby, especially a boy, brought a whole new meaning to me this year. I always marvel at the birth of Jesus, but this year my thoughts were on Mary. Knowing what I went through, am going through and have yet to go through, I wonder if Mary felt those same things. I wonder if she cried when she heard him cry for the first time, if her heart burst open at his first smile, if she cried happy tears while giggling with him. All the wonder of a baby boy- did she experience too? And also did she know what he would have to go through, or did God protect her heart for the time being. So many questions! After church we w

I posted this video a couple weeks ago on facebook. We sang this song one day at church and ever since then I can't get it out of my head. Something that I didn't share with many, I had the baby blues pretty bad with Jeremiah. It didn't turn into  postpartum depression but it got close. I was worried about EVERTHING. I couldn't watch a sad movie cause I would cry. We tried to watch a movie where some teens got in an accident and we had to turn it off because I cried and couldn't bear the thought of something like that happening to Jeremiah. I would just sit and cry for no reason at all. I drew closer to God during this time. I would play worship music, sing it in the shower, worship in my thoughts and just feel God holding me. And then there was one early sunday morning. It was the morning that I had been up with Jeremiah and was reading through all of our old posts, and every thought, feeling and emotion came flooding back. I almost didn't want to go to ch

This time of year should be filled with joy, laughter and smiles. But instead, I have a very heavy heart. All my life, I dreamed of having a young baby for christmas time. God granted me that wish, and while I am overwhelmed with love for Jeremiah, my heart is heavy. Yes, the recent shootings have affected me and I can't stop thinking of all those children and families. However, I am missing a sweet blonde-haired, blue eyed little girl named Brookelynne so very much right now. Brookelynne was the light of my life for 2 very short years. I loved her like my own. I always think of her, but now, I keep thinking about what she would be like and how much she would have loved Jeremiah. I picture her holding him, laughing at him, and just being a sweet pre-teen. So while I sit beneath the christmas tree holding Jeremiah, tears fill my eyes. I just remember doing the same with her when she was a wee little baby. I also imagine her spending christmas in the best place of all..in heaven w

I can't believe that Jeremiah is 6 weeks old! It seems just like yesterday that I was watching him squirm in my tummy, dreaming about what he would look like, and now he's here! Jeremiah is getting so big, so fast, and seems to be changing a bit everyday! In the past week, Jeremiah has been flashing us his most adorable smile! I never have a camera on me but someday soon I will catch that smile on film! He also has been awake for longer periods during the day. When he is awake, he usually doesn't like to be held for long. He'd rather lay on his back and kick, kick, kick away! His eyes are changing to a dark gray! He holds his head up quite well while being held and also while doing tummy time- which he can't stand for more than a few moments. Jeremiah has been eating 5 ounces every 3-4 hours, while going longer periods at night. Last night (monday, december 10th), he slept for 7 hours straight...yep, from 1am till 8am!! As for me (mom), I had my 6 week check up

We got Jeremiah's newborn pictures back this week! Our friend, Tory (blue shoe photography) did an amazing job! His pictures were taken when he was 6 days old. Tory was so patient with us. I was still healing and pretty sore from the c-section and Jeremiah was on his own agenda. We had to stop to change him, feed him and put him back to sleep a few times. Anyway...here's some of my favorites!  This was his first real smile and it warms my heart everytime I see it!

(Please don't think I'm a horrible mommy...Jeremiah was sleeping when this was taken and made the face with the flash) So it almost seems that Jeremiah does not like to travel, even if he stays on his eating schedule. Just about every time we go somewhere for the day, we are in for a long night. Our worst one was him screaming from 6pm-1am and nothing calmed him down. Last night was just about the same. He went to grandma's while Matt and I went to a movie. We all got home that evening..I really don't remember what time...around 9 I think. Matt and I decided to head to bed even though I knew he'd be up soon. Sure enough, just as I dozed off, he was up. He got changed and fed and then the games began. He didn't fall asleep for the night until 1am. That was after crying, sleeping, crying, sleeping, eating 2 ounces, crying and sleeping. On the bright side, he is one adorable little boy. He is lifting his head up so high, growing way too fast. He has star

So I really suck at updating this thing! As the post says, Jeremiah is here! But let me back track a bit! Our pregnancy was really a breeze! We always said that we knew God gave us the pregnancy because of how easy things went. I never had morning sickness, my blood and urine numbers were always great, I only gained 6 pounds, and never had any of the things that they test you for. Last time I updated, we didn't even know that Jeremiah was a boy. I had a gut feeling that he was a boy, but Matt was holding out for a girl. On June 26th, we got to have the gender scan. My favorite thing about pregnancy was getting to have ultrasounds! The tech took her time taking measurements and showing us all the parts...4 chamber heart, hands, feet, head, tummy, etc, etc. Then when I thought she was down by his legs, I said "so, is that a boy?" She asked if we really wanted to know and I immediately said "YES!" So she found the parts, turned the screen and asked what it was

So, by the name change in the title, its not hard to figure out- God finally blessed us with a baby! And not one through adoption. Our very own child through birth, just as our hearts had always desired. I am currently 21 weeks 1 day. We find out the gender of baby on Tuesday. Since there is a lot to say, I'll start with where I left up and work up until now. I know I neglected this blog when we hit our first stand still. Truth be told, there wasn't much to write about. And it was almost to painful. We never were allowed to pick back up even after two years. We actually found out that our file was closed a few weeks before christmas in 2011. They way it was handled was really cold hearted. Coming from a christian company, you would have thought it would have been handled better. All we got was a two line letter saying our file was closed. Not a phone call, not a meeting, not even an email...a two line letter. After we recieved that letter, we were devestated. We were pissed