A Heavy Heart

This time of year should be filled with joy, laughter and smiles. But instead, I have a very heavy heart. All my life, I dreamed of having a young baby for christmas time. God granted me that wish, and while I am overwhelmed with love for Jeremiah, my heart is heavy. Yes, the recent shootings have affected me and I can't stop thinking of all those children and families. However, I am missing a sweet blonde-haired, blue eyed little girl named Brookelynne so very much right now.
Brookelynne was the light of my life for 2 very short years. I loved her like my own. I always think of her, but now, I keep thinking about what she would be like and how much she would have loved Jeremiah. I picture her holding him, laughing at him, and just being a sweet pre-teen. So while I sit beneath the christmas tree holding Jeremiah, tears fill my eyes. I just remember doing the same with her when she was a wee little baby. I also imagine her spending christmas in the best place of all..in heaven with Jesus!

On a lighter note, Jeremiah is 7 weeks old today! I don't remember if I added this picture on here yet or not. But I finally caught smiles on camera! He is such a smiley baby, especially when he first wakes up. He's even made a few noises that sound really close to giggles. He coo's more and more each day and they are getting pretty loud! We did finally get our tree up on sunday and Jeremiah loves looking at the colored lights.
On sunday, I jumped back into volunteering in our church's nursery. I was really nervous about it but Jeremiah did great! We had 6 babies and 2 volunteers. There were some iffy moments but we survived!
Next week is also Jeremiah and I's last full week together. I will be starting to nanny for another infant starting Jan. 2nd. I'm a bit nervous about that too but I'm sure things will be fine once we all get into a routine!

Comments

  1. SheriDecember 17, 2012 at 9:29 PM

    Yes, I miss Brookelynne terribly. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I wish I could see her one more time...hold her tight and tell how much I love her. She was such a precious little girl. She loved everything in life. I dreamt last night of carrying a little girl through a store. She was 3 months old and I was bending down to show her to someone. I think it was supposed to be Brookelynne. Unfortunately, I got woke up and never got the chance to find out for sure. It tears at my heart for all we never got the chance to share with her.
    She sees Jeremiah and I'm sure he gets to see her too...just not in the way those of us here on Earth do. God Bless!!

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